Today was rough

This whole going through a break up thing is constant up and down. I haven't really felt good yet, so I'm considering myself doing well when I'm calm. I was calm most of the day, but for parts of it I was a sobbing mess on my bed. I talked to Justine for a while - at least an hour, maybe 2. And that felt good. I tried sending Connor a very unobtrusive text, because I miss having him around as a friend, I suppose, but he didn't answer, so that was disheartening. I'm not sure how to interpret his silence, but my brain is unfortunately trying to take it in whatever way it wants. Well, I'm a girl, I guess I do that... I miss him like absolutely insane. I'm still not sure what to do.